Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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