Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
