hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
