if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
