I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and she was petting her beer can
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
