Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
