What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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