For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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