New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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