you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
