I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
