It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
