Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
