If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
