Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
