I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
