how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
