i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
