Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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