dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
