I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
