He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
