so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize