I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
