I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
