It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
