when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
