I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
