So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
