I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
