The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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