I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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