they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
