on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
