apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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