we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
