I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
