i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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