The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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