apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize