You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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