lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
