Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What drink are we having for lunch?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
