You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
In America we eat man semen.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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