Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
did you just send me my own nude
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wear drunk well.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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