I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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