I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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