put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize