What did we do last night that was yellow?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
