oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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