did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
