He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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