dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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