So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
