How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
