is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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