so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
