absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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