So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
