ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize