He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
