I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I want a musical about memes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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