That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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