Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
