Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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