some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize