3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
