my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
this is an emotional support booty call
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
