Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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